(via lostatseadontfindme)
I feel like I said something wrong but I don’t know what. Possibly one of the hardest things about this. But that’s okay because I’ll have a break soon.
It’s a feeling I can’t quite describe but it’s a mix of happiness and love and contentment. Knowing that you’re there and I can see you right away. It feels like home and I love that feeling. It’s one of the best things we’ve had since I’ve been gone, or it feels like it. Never will it replace being with you, nor will it ever come close. But until that day, that feeling will do. And it is not that it will simply “do”, I thoroughly enjoy it but it can never come close to the joie de vivre that I take from your presence.
I just want it to be Friday already. That’s really what I want out of this week because I’m going to stress out over this show and all my school work. Papers and poems and stuff I don’t understand and working all the time and then tech week and figuring out the logistics of air compressors for air casters and working on all that. I really just want Friday to come so I can work and then go, work on Saturday and then… (:
The event of falling in love is of such a nature that we are right to reject as intolerable the idea that it should be transitory. In one high bound it has overleaped the massive wall of our selfhood; it has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests of another in the centre of our being. Spontaneously and without effort we have fulfilled the law (towards one person) by loving our neighbour as ourselves. It is an image, a foretaste, of what we must become to all if Love Himself rules in us without a rival. It is eve (well used) a preparation for that. Simply to relapse from it, merely to “fall out of” love again, is— if I may coin the ugly word— a sort of disredemption. Eros is driven to promise what Eros of himself cannot perform… . In reality, however, Eros, having made his gigantic promise and shown you in glimpses what its performance would be like, has “done his stuff.” He, like a godparent, makes the vows; it is we who must keep them. It is we who must labour to bring our daily life into even closer accordance with what the glimpses have revealed. We must do that work of Eros when Eros is not present.
C.S. Lewis The Four Loves
The gnat-like cloud of petty anxieties and decisions about the conduct of the next hour have interfered with my prayers more often than any passion or appetite whatever.
-C.S. Lewis The Four Loves
